Believe it or not, She's My Birth Child

Post being a mom, I've learned that people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. If you have a hat on your child, someone in the grocery store will think it's too warm for a hat. If you take the hat off in the next aisle, someone else will wonder why you don't have a hat for your child. Keep in mind, these are complete strangers. It's in line with the legions of strangers who think they have the right to touch your stomach when you are pregnant. Why would you want someone who you have never met, who may or may not wash their hands on a regular basis, or be carrying some version of the swine flu to touch you and your unborn child? I just don't understand it.

But the absolute worst comments I've gotten following the births of my children have been the result of their skin. And I never have the response I want at the time - a response that is said with love, not judgement, that conveys the message, 'I can't believe you just had the nerve to ask that question to my face you insensitive, rude person,' but that rolls of my tongue as sweetly as honey would. I've had women (always only women) ask me how long I've been a nanny (granted, I do look like I'm sixteen, but I wear wedding bands!), when I brought them into the country, what my experience with the adoption process was like, how my husband felt about bringing a 'mixed child' into our family, if I had my children because there was a problem with my eggs (yes, a stranger really asked me that), could they have contact information for the agency we used because they liked 'the look of my son.' The list goes on and on...

There are those who say I should be sympathetic of such questions, that it's okay to ask them. I think that over in my head, then I look at my son, who looks exactly like me and decide that it's okay to be taken aback by such brazen questions.

There is nothing wrong with adoption - Tim and I are hoping to adopt our next child. I just am surprised by the boldness of strangers in regards to comments about my children or my parenting.